I had so much going on in my mind that I was literally thinking something in one moment and then completely different in the next.
Some days are tough when you feel extremely frustrated and angry with the way life has turned out to be. You feel irritated, lash out often on your little one, household chores that you perform on daily basis feels like a burden. Getting out of bed to confront another day and same montonous routine takes a toll on you. You feel a strong need to hold onto something or someone to feel little bit stronger and to vent out a little bit. Your face looks dull and you look like a ghost. And putting up a happy face when you are down feels tiresome. We often lie to ourselves that we feel okay and happy when in reality we are struggling with our feelings and emotions.
At night, when everyone sleeps, loneliness takes over. You look over to your little one sleeping right next to you and feel the guilt of being harsh on your baby. You kiss his forhead and say sorry for being a bad mom today.
Other days, you feel extremly cheerful and go on with your day with such positive energy that it amazes you. You start your day early, have a nice breakfast, finsh off some of the chores before your baby wakes up so you can spend some quality time once he is up. You even feel like watching shows on Netflix. You feel accomplished. These are the days you realize that you have so much to be happy and thankful about which otherwise is hard to believe.
Both kind of days are part of you. You terribly miss someone with whom you can share both of those days. Who without asking understand the state of your mind. Motherhood does that to you. Its the most underrated, unpaid 24 hours job that you have to do till your last breath. Why is that so? Why only 9 to 5 jobs are more valuable and appreciated? Have you ever thought about it?
A stay-at-home mom (SAHM) may not be stepping out to earn but she is doing the most important yet underrated and unpaid job that is there in this world…raising human beings. Stay at home moms are not routinely sitting back and lounging in their PJs while some one else looks after their kids’ needs. They are working around the clock, running back and forth to make sure their house looks clean, their babies are fed, food is cooked, looking after kids to get their homework done etc etc. And between all this, other duties that may seem unnecessary to an outsider or even to your husband….like waking up your baby, following a set routine, giving them a bath, making them sleep on time, feeding them on time, potty training, spending quality time with them so they start to learn…THIS IS A LOT OF WORK BTW! I am lucky enough to be living with my in-laws who often look after my 22 months baby when I need to do some work but what about those who don’t have any help? They are not exactly having a fun time at home. And still too much is expected from them. These expectation either coming from your husband or from anyone else makes one feel less special or the feeling “if you don’t do this, you will be blamed for it in future because I told you you should” makes you feel guilty and extra burdened.
Most often, SAHMs are asked “what do you do with your time?” “Where does your time go?”. I mean really? Why does taking a 2 hours nap for a mom in afternoon feels like a sin? Because others make it such a act. Believe me, they don’t even get time to comb their hair for a whole day and realise that at night only when the scalp starts to itch badly. THEY DESERVE THAT NAP. PERIOD
We don’t associate stay-at-home mom with a particular profession just like we do with people who go out for work….we are just moms…who is everything, an all-rounder to be specific; a chef, a launderer, housekeeper, a teacher, a wife, a friend, etc etc who works full time and nothing asks for in return. But few words of appreciation from a husband never hurts.
Having said that, it doesn’t mean that working moms don’t have their fair share of their criticism or what they have chosen to do with their life is not important. The point being here is that whether you are SAHM or a working mom, both work super hard to raise kids. Whether a mom choose to stay at home or go to work, should be only HER choice and no one else’s.
You know, writing this down made me realise one thing. You don’t realise all of the above until you experience motherhood and then you start appreciating your own mother for all the things she did for you when you were a kid. Funny, how life teaches you. That’s why, always appreciate your mothers. They will put up a happy face and hide her internal demons just to make sure that her kids are happy.