It’s quiet impressive and equally heart warming to see your little one grow up. As they start to take in the environment and learn to observe things around them, how they try to exactly copy and react is often scary for a mom. Because we as parents have to prove ourselves as role models for the little ones as we have a responsibility to raise next generation. Yes, sometimes I lose my mind, I get annoyed, even on days I scream on him for not listening to what I say or scattering toys everywhere and not putting them back but how he respond to all of my outburst is more important which actually will shape how I respond next time under different or similar circumstances.
Ibrahim will turn 3 next month Ma Sha Allah and last few months I have seen tremendous changes in him in terms of his ability to understand things and responding way more quick then I can possibly imagine. How his speech has been improving day by day, how his pronunciation of alphabets, numbers, words and even the way he recite first Kalma, I am seeing the improvements everyday. How he tries to seek attention or learning to display his emotions is just amazing. Only thing that I still try to struggle with is to cope with his anger. Yes, Ibrahim is not a calm child. He is hyper, bold , knows very well how to get his way, understand sadness and show anger when his demands are not fulfilled. He knows who will fulfill his demands and who won’t. Sometimes I let him be so he can cry it all out, sometimes I try to divert his attention, sometimes I get annoyed too on his baseless demands like playing with handles of cookware, he is kind of obsessed with kitchen utensils especially cooking pots and pans. But sometimes I have to give in to his demands as long as they are harmless to calm him down. Managing his anger is something that I am still learning and I am slowly finding my way.
What continuously disturbs my mind every night is what if I fail in raising a good human being? I pray hard that may Allah help me to raise him like a person who is kind, emphatic, sympathetic, gentle and loving. Who understands what is right and what is wrong in the light of our religion and humanity. I pray and hope that we parents raise our sons to be a person who are not afraid to show their emotions and don’t use aggression as means to an end and prove themselves good for this world and hereafter.
I can see his frustration of not going out some day, lack of interaction with kids, bored with everything at home. Some of those days are tough because it’s kind of difficult for me to understand what he is going through because I know he is growing both mentally and physically and he needs something or other to keep his mind and himself occupied. I simply find myself out of all the ideas as in how to keep him occupied. Sitting and doing nothing even for a while or take rest is not in his books and I guess every kid of his age is same who always want to do something and that I guess how a 3-years-old-to-be are, which is good in a way but also annoying for a mother who crave for some time for herself.
Mommy-ing around is hardwork, Raising a good human being is harder but there are also moments in which everything looks easy like when your kid smile at you, when you kid run towards you when he/she got a boo-boo or knows that you will catch them when they fall.
Watching him eating all by himself, trying to dress himself up on his own, helping me in small things make me feel extremely happy and sad at a same time. Happy because yes he is growing and I will have my partner in crime and sad that those little feet and hands are no longer little and eventually he won’t be needing me to do tasks for him. Yes, its confusing but I am sure all moms can relate.
Maybe time for another kid??? haha
No, not yet! I still need to make more memories with my first born alone 😀